I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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