Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
