Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
