He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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