saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
