i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
