Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
