Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
