You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm really busy with my period
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