Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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