He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
