Too much gin, very little bucket
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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