Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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