Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
