No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
