he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
