I will die if light touches me.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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