i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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