dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize