he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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