Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
