it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
