Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
