He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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