yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Randomize
