we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
