dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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