Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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