I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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