SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
