The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
