Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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