Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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