well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
