Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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