This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
