What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
well you can't waste a boner
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize