So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
