so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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