I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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