you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
