Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
