i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
