I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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