i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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