people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
