he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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