The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Randomize
