let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
