Dual....:-)
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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