I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
