shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
