do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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