Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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