just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
