I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
