are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
