HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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