Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
