she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
