he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize