i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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