I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
