have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
